Reunion stories

Adoptees Using Facebook Page ‘You Know You’re An Adoptee When’ for Search Success

/ V.L. Brunskill / 9 Comments

Trend alert for adoptees in search!

The Facebook community page “You Know You’re An Adoptee When….” has been posting text embellished photos of adoptees who are searching for their families. The adoption-reunion  focused page encourages readers to  ‘like and share’ the photos. Thus, creating an endless opportunity for the right person to find them.

The Facebook community page is dedicated to “being supportive of each other’s stage of their healing journey,”and it’s doing just that. The adoptee’s photos are circling the Web, and have resulted in a reported three (3) reunions thus far.

If you are searching, it can not hurt to try this avenue. Please do not list your address or full adoptive name, to avoid scammers.  Including your birth date, place of birth, and a fact or two should do the trick.

Below are some examples for reference. Each photo links back to the Facebook community post. So if you know them or can help, just click on the picture.

robsearch

find5 find4find2 What a wonderful effort to reunite birth families!

Blessings for a picture perfect reunion,
find6Vicki-lynnfind3

New York Times on Dark Side of Adoption Info on Internet

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In a recent article, “Internet Use in Adoptions Cuts 2 Ways” New York Times reporter Ron Nixon discusses a report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a nonprofit organization working to change adoption policy in America. 3094227198_866aac21d5_z

The report (released today) is the culmination of a three-year research project by the Institute on how the Internet and social media have altered the adoption landscape.

Despite the group’s active support of open-records for all adult adoptees, the report presents much more than happy reunion stories. It also delves into the devilish character of on-line adoption agencies, and the fraud that is often perpetuated by them.  The report also discusses why access to online information is not always positive for underage adoptees, especially in cases where an abused child is found by a birth parent.

I look forward to reading the full report which is available here: http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2012_12_UntanglingtheWeb.pdf

Blessing for reunion,
Vicki-lynn

Video News: Rhode Island Law Leads to Adoption Reunion

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Eerily similar to my own reunion at Boston’s Logan Airport in 1992, this NBC news report reminds us why state adoption laws must be changed. Open records and access for all adult adoptees, will only be possible when state legislators cut through the red-tape, and change outdated adoptions laws.

Today. most adoptions are open. All parties enter an adoption agreement with identities revealed, nationalities intact and birthday’s remembered. In the 1950’s. 60’s and 70’s, unwed pregnancy was viewed as a sin against God, family and society. The children placed during those decades are now adults  in a wholly different world, and state laws should reflect the new culture of acceptance, genetic importance, and basic human rights.

Bravo, to Rhode Island for opening its adoption records to allow for this wonderful reunion.

To learn how to access your RI adoption records, check out the post ‘RI Adoptees over 25 Years Allowed Original Birth Certificates.’

Blessings that all states see the light, and open our records,

Vicki-lynn

Don’t Miss the Movie- “Adopted: for the Life of Me”

/ V.L. Brunskill / 2 Comments

Today, I am sharing a link to the heartbreaking trailer for the movie “Adopted: For the Life of Me”. The movie aired on PBS, and while there are no future airings currently listed on the PBS site, you can purchase the DVD here.

When you visit filmmaker Jean Strauss’ site, be sure to read about her upcoming movie project (she needs moola to complete it), and about her significant work as an advocate for adoptee rights.

Jean Strauss

If Jean’s name sounds familiar, it is probably because she wrote a great search & reunion book titled,  “Birthright: the Guide to Search and Reunion”.

The film previewed in this trailer, explores the lifelong affects of never knowing your real name, heritage, or medical information. It presents the stories of real people, who late in life, are still living in the darkness of sealed records.

http://www.adoptedforthelifeofme.com/

Blessings to know your name at last,

Vicki-lynn

Rhode Island Law Leads to Reunion

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Sharing a wonderful Rhode Island reunion story!
When states open records, miracles happen.
Here’s to more miracles!

Mother, son reunited after more than 40 years apart – WAFF-TV: News, Weather and Sports for Huntsville, AL.

In March,  I blogged about the Rhode Island law that allows for access to original birth certificates. This is an option for those over 25 years old.  To learn the process  for requesting RI adoption records – see the entry;
RI Adoptees over 25 Years Allowed Original Birth Certificates

Have a RI reunion story to share?
Please comment below or email me at vbrunskill@gmail.com

Blessings for your own reunion miracle,

Vicki-lynn

Adoption Detective | Book

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Always happy to share a book that could be helpful in your search.
Happy hunting and blessings,
Vickilynn

Judith Land's avatarAdoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

“Adoption Detective is a story that is hard to forget—readers will want to keep a hanky close at hand. The plot is emotionally draining, engrossing throughout, and agonizing at times with great expectations followed by periods of both ecstasy and gut wrenching rejection. Nothing is fait accompli when it comes to affairs of the heart and on this account the book delivers.” —Jim and Penny Hassell, avid readers

 “The reader will hang on to every phase of the adoption search—this is a life story that deserves this book.” —Terrie Drake, librarian, Colorado Mountain College

This book is riveting—I literally could not put it down. Your story is solid and exceptional. I can’t say enough good things about this book.” —Sheila Mincer, speech-language pathologist, Mountain Board of Cooperative Educational Services.

“The writing style of the authors is precisely written  in an authentic voice that is uniquely fresh and bold…

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Mapping out Memories: Using Google Earth to Find Family

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According to a March 2012 report in Time Magazine, an Indian man named Saroo Brierley, who was adopted by Tasmanian parents, and lives in Australia, recently found his birthfamily using Google Earth.

Google Earth is a free application, that can be downloaded at Google.com/earth. The application allows users to take virtual tours anywhere in the world.  With amazing clarity, Google Earth lets you explore buildings, imagery, landscapes, waterways, etc.

Brierley left India at five-years-old, and had memories of begging on the streets with his brother. He also had some memory of landmarks that played a prominent role in his childhood. It was these tidbits of memory that had him zooming in and out on Google Earth for ten years, looking for a village that matched his age-washed memories.

He was successful. Brierley found the village, and his birthfamily. He was reunited with them in February of 2012. While Brierley says that communication is difficult, his reunion seems to be a happy one. According to the Time article, Brierley is even thinking of making his story into a movie.

While I cannot imagine that there are many instances where Google Earth is the best search tool on the Web. Brierley’s success does make a point about perseverance, and the crucial step of mapping out your memories.

If you have any memory of your birth family, no matter how vague, you need to write it down. Be as precise as possible with your list. List things as silly as “I had a pink teddy bear” and as identifying as “I heard a train go by everyday.”

By writing down your memories, and those of your family members, you may find clues that will help to narrow your search.  Interview your adoptive parents, and siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins. Every memory is another pin on the map that will eventually lead to your birth family.

Adoptees Use DNA Testing to Find Relatives

/ V.L. Brunskill / 2 Comments

When I was searching for my birthfather, there were two possible culprits. My birthmother was a virgin when she arrived in the USA, and as naive as they come.  She met a nice man through a cousin, and he asked her to take a stroll on a NY beach.  During this walk, he raped her.

After her heart and trust was stolen, she decided that no man would ever take advantage of her again.  She had been attracted to an Army man, who wooed her endlessly, and after the horrible beach incident, she decided to pursue a relationship.

ynse/Flickr.com

So when she found out she was pregnant, she was not sure who my father was.  This left me with the difficult task of figuring it out. I found the date rapist first. He was actually a nice old guy, and swore that while he had dated my birthmother, there was no rape.  He had heard she was pregnant, and wondered if he might be a father.

When I found him, we had DNA testing done, and the negative result was heartbreaking, as he was truly tickled to have a newfound daughter.  We used the Fairfax Identity Lab.  I then went on to find my real birthfather, and he never wanted DNA testing. I knew he was the one, and therefore it was not necessary.

While DNA played a factor in my search, it was not the clue that opened the door to my identity. To find my birthmother and both father suspects,  took 13 years of pretty hard searching. Today, I am amazed at the level of identity and at the specific surnames that can be found through the process.

A New York Times article from January of this year, tells how adoptee Khrys Vaughan found her distant cousins using a DNA testing company, that not only provided her genetic countries of origin, but also gave her the names and email addresses of distant cousins.

The article suggests that testing can cost anywhere from $99 to more than $500.  Most of the companies I found are in the $300 range.  While I do not know anything about the reliability of these companies, the Times article mentions two testing companies; Family Tree DNA and 23andMe, claiming that “they  have databases that contain samples from 350,000 and 125,000 people.”  Those are pretty good odds for a match.

Note: Companies are competing for your DNA dollars. They do NOT share databases, so you might want to be tested by more than one.

My concern with these DNA companies is of course, accuracy. I had the same concerns back when I used DNA to confirm my birthfather’s identity.  However, I believe that the process has come a long way, and for those who have tried every other search avenue,, this could at least fill in the blanks as far as your real nationality.

Tread carefully, and ask around before coughing up the cash. I have added links to the two companies mentioned in the article. I may even give this a try in my effort to find my adoptive brother’s family. Of course, if I do, I will report my findings here.

Happy hunting and blessings,

Vicki-lynn