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New York Times on Dark Side of Adoption Info on Internet

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

In a recent article, “Internet Use in Adoptions Cuts 2 Ways” New York Times reporter Ron Nixon discusses a report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a nonprofit organization working to change adoption policy in America. 3094227198_866aac21d5_z

The report (released today) is the culmination of a three-year research project by the Institute on how the Internet and social media have altered the adoption landscape.

Despite the group’s active support of open-records for all adult adoptees, the report presents much more than happy reunion stories. It also delves into the devilish character of on-line adoption agencies, and the fraud that is often perpetuated by them.  The report also discusses why access to online information is not always positive for underage adoptees, especially in cases where an abused child is found by a birth parent.

I look forward to reading the full report which is available here: http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2012_12_UntanglingtheWeb.pdf

Blessing for reunion,
Vicki-lynn

Boston Catholic Charities Insults Adoptees with Search Fees: Time for Penance

/ V.L. Brunskill / 5 Comments
Penance

Penance

I just stumbled upon a pdf document titled “Catholic Charities’ Search and Reunion Policy.” The document, posted by Catholic Charities Boston Archdiocese, outlines the rules and fees for adoption reunion services.

Catholic Charities altered adoptee birth dates, and background information in the 1960s-80s, and the organization has been accused of forcing unwed mother’s  to give up their babies.  (See the Dan Rather report). Yet the agency has the gall to charge for reunion information.

In the wake, of national apologies for forced adoptions in Australia, and amid the frustration of searching adoptees stuck in a sea of red tape and lies, you would think that such a ‘Christian’ organization would go out of it’s way to assist the adoptees whose identities they altered- for FREE!

What happened to The Catholic Premise of paying penance for sins committed against God and neighbor?

I am posting the list of fees and rules from the undated document below. Also, I want to mention that I was placed through Children’s Aid Society of New York, and I did not pay a penny for my non-identifying information.

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Catholic Charities’ Search and Reunion Policy

Our Mission: Catholic Charities recognizes that adoption is a lifelong process. Our post adoption program offers a continuum of services that respects the relationships among the adoptee, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents. In all circumstances, confidentiality and our clients’ best interests are our primary concern.

Catholic Charities Serves:
• Adopted persons – all individuals who were adopted through Catholic Charities in the Boston Archdiocese of Massachusetts and all other agencies for which Catholic Charities now maintains the records.
• Birth parents and siblings of persons adopted, as stated above.
• Adoptive parents of adoptees that are still minors, as stated above.

How Massachusetts Law Guides Catholic Charities’ Services:
Catholic Charities’ policies and procedures comply with Massachusetts General Law c.210 section 5D governing the release of adoption information.
The law specifically addresses the exchange and disclosure of adoption information, both identifying and non-identifying, that an agency holds in its records. It states that an adoptee cannot request, without parental consent, non-identifying information before they are 18, and identifying information before they are 21. It states that identifying information cannot be
released without a signed consent from a birth parent or an adoptee. It also states that a birth parent’s release needs to be at least 30 days old before identifying information is released.

However, it does not address or preclude the agency from utilizing that information to locate or contact any member of the adoption triad and inquire as to their wishes regarding contact. If permission is granted, it must be in writing. If permission is not granted, either because the person cannot be found or the party has declined to grant permission, release of identifying information is prohibited by the above law. Siblings and other family members are not addressed in the statute and therefore have no legal standing to information separate from the birth parents.

Confidentiality, with all its rights and responsibilities, belongs to the birth parent(s) and the adoptee, and only they or a court of competent jurisdiction may waive their rights.

In accordance with this, siblings who were not themselves adopted and other family members who wish to receive information or initiate a search cannot do so unless the birth parent is deceased. In which case, the birth parent’s death certificate and documentation from the inquiring party, demonstrating the relationship to the birth parent, must be furnished.

In all cases, the decision to proceed with a search to locate someone is the discretion of the agency. It is also Catholic Charities’ policy to attempt to notify all parties who have a signed release on record to determine if they still want to release identifying information, unless the release clearly indicates that prior notification is not required.

What We Offer Adoptees
• Adoptees can update their birth family/adoptive family’s files with personal information and their wish for contact with their birth parents if their birth parents were to contact us. There is no cost for this.
• Adoptees who are 18 or older can request that their birth family/adoptive family’s records be reviewed for a signed release. There is a $25.00 fee for this.
• Adoptees who are 18 years or older can request only medical information contained in the record. The cost for this service is $50.00.
• Adoptees who are 18 or older can request non-identifying information from the file, including all background information that is in the record, and copies of medical or psychological reports relating to them. The background information would be documented in summary form. The cost for this is $150.00.

Adoptees can request a search for their birth parents providing they are 21 years or older, or have their adoptive parent’s permission.

• When a search is requested and there is no consent to release identifying information in the record, the Adoption Department’s clinical team will determine whether to grant such a request. If the request is approved, Catholic Charities will make all reasonable efforts to locate the identified individual and will act as an intermediary to determine whether that person is agreeable to contact. The agency will discuss search-related issues and concerns with either party as needed. If the identified person is agreeable to contact, CatholicCharities will facilitate contact between the two parties. The parties will be responsible for the nature and extent of continued communication. The fee for up to five hours of work on each birth parent search is $250.00. Additional work will be billed at $50.00 per hour.
• When a search is requested and there is a consent in the record but the information is not current, Catholic Charities will attempt to locate the identified party to establish their current disposition. If the identified person is agreeable to contact, Catholic Charities will facilitate contact between the parties. The fee for up to five hours of work on each birth parent search is $250.00. Additional work will be billed at $50.00 per hour.
• When a search is requested and there is a current release in the record, Catholic Charities will notify the parties involved and facilitate contact as requested. The fee for this is $150.00.
• If an adoptee has the identity and whereabouts of their birth parent, they can request that an adoption professional make the initial contact. Catholic Charities will verify the information that is provided, and contact the birth parent to determine if they agree to contact. The agency will discuss search-related issues and concerns with each party and facilitate contact. The cost for this service is $150.00.

Birth Parents
• Birth parents are encouraged to update their file with personal information and their disposition regarding contact with the child they placed for adoption. There is no fee for this.
• Birth parents can request that their record be reviewed for a release from the adopted child. The fee for this service is $25.00.
• Birth parents can request non-identifying information regarding the family that adopted their child. The background information would be documented in summary form. The fee for this service is $150.00.
• Birth parents can request a copy of their birth parent record. The cost for this is $25.00.
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Blessings for a speedy and  FREE reunion!

Vicki-lynn

Register at TroysList.org: A Free Reunion Registry from ‘The Locator’

/ V.L. Brunskill / 4 Comments

“Half of the world is looking for the other half.” – Troy Dunn

Troy Dunn

Many of you are probably  familiar with the show ‘The Locator’ starring Troy Dunn. The show airs on WE tv, and facilitates marvelous reunions between lost loves, adoptees, and estranged family members.

With the help of Search Quest America, a trusted third party search provider for TroyTheLocator.com, the show and his site, have reunited thousands of people.  You can view a collection of ‘The Locator’ episodes here, and learn more about the show at the official show site.

‘The Locator’ is bombarded with requests, and since they cannot possible address them all, Troy has created a reunion board/database called Troys List.

While you must register to post on Troy’s List, the database is free, and searchable by location, and type of search.

The list is of special interest to adoptees and birth parents in search. However, it also includes posts for missing school mates, lost family, lost childhood friends, military buddies, old neighbors and more.

Troy’s describes the list  in his ‘about’ section as; “a free, mutual consent registry for those wanting to be reunited with a long lost loved one. It’s purpose is to provide a safe, no-cost environment for those in search.”

Dunn also cautions, “all those searching to guard your personal information closely, being very careful where you post it and how much information you share with strangers. While there are many people and organizations willing and able to assist you, there are also too many who will prey upon you. ”

Search Troy’s List today, and make sure you register. Your family could be just a click away!

Blessings for a speedy reunion,

Vicki-lynn

Susan Beckman: Organize your Adoption Search

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Susan Beckman, an adoptee who searched and found her birth family, pens a blog that is well worth a bookmark. Those in  search, will find some excellent insights on the process,  at Susan Beckman’s Blog.

An entry that caught my attention is Staying Organized & Sane when Searching. In this short blog, Susan presents eight tips for staying organized when you are searching. When I searched (pre- Internet), I had papers, files, and phone numbers stashed all over my home.  This often led to repetition of efforts, and wasted time.

For instance, when I discovered in my letter of non-identifying information, that my birth mother  attended secretarial school while pregnant with me, I ordered a NYC phone book, made a list of every secretarial school in NYC, and started calling them to see if they were in business at the time of my birth.

I later misplaced the list, and had to start from scratch. Wasteful!
My strategy during those calls (which might work for you) was to find out if  the school was in business when I was born.  If the answer was yes, I thanked them, and called again the next day.

During the second call, I would ask if the school had a alumni group that could help me find a friend of my mother’s. I had my birth surname,  which I found listed in the Birth Register books at the NY Public Library.  Access to these books is free and open to the public.

I used the name, “Richards” and explained that I was looking for a friend of my mother’s. I told whoever would listen, that I was planning a surprise party, and explained that my mother had always talked about a ‘Miss Richards’ who she attended secretarial school with.  I gave them the year of attendance, and asked for help.

You would be amazed how helpful the schools were! They often searched their records for a “Richards”, or gave me information to contact the alumni association. While, I did not find my birth mother through any school, the experience taught me how tugging at a few heart strings can garner assistance.  Sure, I fibbed, but I assure you I had my fingers crossed the entire time ;).

Susan Beckman’s blog on organization suggest that adoptees use a “Correspondence index” and looking at the piles of information I accumulated during my 12-year search, I highly recommend you use one.

Susan gives a brief example, but you can expand this using Excel or other spreadsheet software. The more organized you stay, the less time you will spend backtracking, and the sooner you will be in the coveted state of reunion!

Blessings for speedy reunion,

Vicki-lynn

Hawaii Adoption Reunion Resources

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In response to a reader’s question, I have compiled a list of Hawaiian adoption reunion resources.

The good news for adoptees who were born in Hawaii, is that you can request your adoption records.  According to HawaiianRoots.com, ” new adoption notification law allows adults to learn of their birth parent unless the parents have indicated to the court that they do not wish to be contacted. ”

HawaiianRoots.com suggests the following contacts for requesting information. I recommend that you give them a call to confirm, as this information could change.

Oahu by mail: Adoption RecordsFamily Court, First Circuit CourtP.O. Box 3498Honolulu, HI 96811-3498
Oahu in person: 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Mon-FriCourt Management Services BranchKaahumanu Hale, Second Floor777 Punchbowl StreetHonolulu, HI
Maui, Molokai, and Lanai: Adoption RecordsFamily Court, Second Circuit2145 Main Street, Suite 226Wailuku, Maui 96793
Big Island: Adoption RecordsFamily Court, Third Circuit345 Kekuanaoa Street, Room 40Hilo, Hawaii 96720
Kauai: Adoption RecordsFamily Court, Fifth Circuit3059 Umi StreetLihue, Kauai 96766

They also offer a clue for adult adoptees looking for natural parents: “Birth certificates are altered to reflect the names of the adopted parents but newspaper vital record listings will show the names of birth parents.”  This means that searching the local newspaper archives could help you find your birth name.

Below is  the applicable adoption records law:

Mutual Access to Identifying Information
Citation: Rev. Stat. § 578-15

An adoptee who is age 18 or older may submit a written request to the family court for inspection of adoption records. Such records will be released unless the birth parents have filed a confidentiality affidavit. Such affidavits may be renewed every 10 years. The adoptee may submit an affidavit person consenting to the inspection of records by the birth parents

The form to request your information is offered in PDF format at the link below. It also gives addresses for mailing.
http://www.state.hi.us/jud/Oahu/Family/1F-P-767request.pdf

TIP: For those searching in any state,  use the link below to search for adoption records and reunion laws by state.
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/index.cfm?event=stateStatutes.showSearchForm

In addition to formally requesting your records, Hawaiian adoptees should search and register for the reunion registries and forums below.

I cannot possibly find every resource out there, so if you know of other Hawaii resources, please comment on this post, or email me at vbrunskill@gmail.com.

Ke Akua(God) Ho’omaika’i(Bless) Oe(You)!
Vicki-lynn

Adoptees Beware: Religious Agencies Changed Birth Dates & Data

/ V.L. Brunskill / 6 Comments

Last week, I was mulling over the relinquishment of the main character in my novel ‘Waving Backwards.’ The feelings and difficulties of being an adoptee in search are easy for me to explore, since I found my birth family after a 12 year search. However, the  birth mother’s experience is somewhat of a mystery  to me.

As I considered the relinquishment scenes for my book, I was blessed to turn on the TV to find Dan Rather reporting about forced adoption in the 60’s & 70’s. His report titled “Adopted or Abducted” opened my eyes to the questionable practices employed by many adoption agencies during the adoption boom.

During the 60’s & 70’s, waves of families moved to suburban neighborhoods, becoming what we now know as the middle class. At that time, social standing and reputations were extremely important.

According to Rather’s report on AXS TV, the increased focus on social standing, coincided with a change of attitudes among young people about sex, dating, and experimentation. Therefore, the rate of unwed pregnancies rose.

Families eager to protect their daughter’s reputations (and their own) often sent these unwed teens away to have their babies. Maternity homes were popular, and many were run by Catholic organizations.

Rather’s report focuses on the experiences of birth mothers sent to live in maternity homes, and how they were forced to give away their babies. Birth mothers were often tricked or forced into signing relinquishment papers. Some were even told that their babies had died.

The part of the report that is most important to those of you in search is the revelation that agencies (like Catholic Charities) often changed the identifying information in adoption records. They did this, so that the birth mother would never be able to locate her child. They also changed the nationalities of children, to better match the nationalities of their adoptive families.  Thereby creating a perfect fit by falsehood.

If  you are searching for your birth family, this could be a crucial fact. If the agency that placed you changed your birth date, your internet searches could be omitting crucial information.  When you search online or register for reunion registries, I suggest using the year and state of your birth, in addition to the city and date of birth that appears on your amended birth certificate. Someone could be looking for you with information that is different than the info you have.

Troy Dunn, AKA The Locator, who was interviewed for the report, has heard from thousands of birth mothers who were forced to give up babies. He has also found birth date changes to be  commonplace. (Sickening, I know.) Dunn cited Catholic Charities as one of the biggest culprits. Therefore, if you were placed by Catholic Charities, I would question every bit of information provided in a letter of non-identifying information.

I highly recommend that birth mothers and adoptees view the show. Birth mothers may find some solace in knowing that they are not the only ones who had their babies stolen, and adoptees may find a new perspective on the horrible process, and what it means to their searches.

Blessings,
Vickilynn

Adoption Detective | Book

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

Always happy to share a book that could be helpful in your search.
Happy hunting and blessings,
Vickilynn

Judith Land's avatarAdoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

“Adoption Detective is a story that is hard to forget—readers will want to keep a hanky close at hand. The plot is emotionally draining, engrossing throughout, and agonizing at times with great expectations followed by periods of both ecstasy and gut wrenching rejection. Nothing is fait accompli when it comes to affairs of the heart and on this account the book delivers.” —Jim and Penny Hassell, avid readers

 “The reader will hang on to every phase of the adoption search—this is a life story that deserves this book.” —Terrie Drake, librarian, Colorado Mountain College

This book is riveting—I literally could not put it down. Your story is solid and exceptional. I can’t say enough good things about this book.” —Sheila Mincer, speech-language pathologist, Mountain Board of Cooperative Educational Services.

“The writing style of the authors is precisely written  in an authentic voice that is uniquely fresh and bold…

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Mapping out Memories: Using Google Earth to Find Family

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According to a March 2012 report in Time Magazine, an Indian man named Saroo Brierley, who was adopted by Tasmanian parents, and lives in Australia, recently found his birthfamily using Google Earth.

Google Earth is a free application, that can be downloaded at Google.com/earth. The application allows users to take virtual tours anywhere in the world.  With amazing clarity, Google Earth lets you explore buildings, imagery, landscapes, waterways, etc.

Brierley left India at five-years-old, and had memories of begging on the streets with his brother. He also had some memory of landmarks that played a prominent role in his childhood. It was these tidbits of memory that had him zooming in and out on Google Earth for ten years, looking for a village that matched his age-washed memories.

He was successful. Brierley found the village, and his birthfamily. He was reunited with them in February of 2012. While Brierley says that communication is difficult, his reunion seems to be a happy one. According to the Time article, Brierley is even thinking of making his story into a movie.

While I cannot imagine that there are many instances where Google Earth is the best search tool on the Web. Brierley’s success does make a point about perseverance, and the crucial step of mapping out your memories.

If you have any memory of your birth family, no matter how vague, you need to write it down. Be as precise as possible with your list. List things as silly as “I had a pink teddy bear” and as identifying as “I heard a train go by everyday.”

By writing down your memories, and those of your family members, you may find clues that will help to narrow your search.  Interview your adoptive parents, and siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins. Every memory is another pin on the map that will eventually lead to your birth family.

Adoptee Rights Demonstration Today in Chicago

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

If you are in the Chicago area, this is the place to meet like minded adoptees interested in open records for all!

K.'s avatarKaren Pickell: Between

Adoptee Rights CoalitionThe Adoptee Rights Coalition has organized a demonstration to take place today during the National Conference of State Legislators in Chicago. Specifically, they will be trying to open the legislators’ eyes to the plight of adult adoptees in forty-four states who are not allowed to have a copy of their own original birth certificates.

What is an “original birth certificate?”

Many people who are not intimately affected by adoption do not realize that adopted people have two different birth certificates. Whenever a child is born, a birth certificate is issued to legally record that birth. We all know that, right? At minimum, the birth certificate lists the baby’s name and the name of the child’s mother.

If that baby is later adopted, a new birth certificate is issued which lists the child’s adoptive name, and his adoptive parents’ names as mother and father. The original birth certificate–the one that lists…

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Adoptees Use DNA Testing to Find Relatives

/ V.L. Brunskill / 2 Comments

When I was searching for my birthfather, there were two possible culprits. My birthmother was a virgin when she arrived in the USA, and as naive as they come.  She met a nice man through a cousin, and he asked her to take a stroll on a NY beach.  During this walk, he raped her.

After her heart and trust was stolen, she decided that no man would ever take advantage of her again.  She had been attracted to an Army man, who wooed her endlessly, and after the horrible beach incident, she decided to pursue a relationship.

ynse/Flickr.com

So when she found out she was pregnant, she was not sure who my father was.  This left me with the difficult task of figuring it out. I found the date rapist first. He was actually a nice old guy, and swore that while he had dated my birthmother, there was no rape.  He had heard she was pregnant, and wondered if he might be a father.

When I found him, we had DNA testing done, and the negative result was heartbreaking, as he was truly tickled to have a newfound daughter.  We used the Fairfax Identity Lab.  I then went on to find my real birthfather, and he never wanted DNA testing. I knew he was the one, and therefore it was not necessary.

While DNA played a factor in my search, it was not the clue that opened the door to my identity. To find my birthmother and both father suspects,  took 13 years of pretty hard searching. Today, I am amazed at the level of identity and at the specific surnames that can be found through the process.

A New York Times article from January of this year, tells how adoptee Khrys Vaughan found her distant cousins using a DNA testing company, that not only provided her genetic countries of origin, but also gave her the names and email addresses of distant cousins.

The article suggests that testing can cost anywhere from $99 to more than $500.  Most of the companies I found are in the $300 range.  While I do not know anything about the reliability of these companies, the Times article mentions two testing companies; Family Tree DNA and 23andMe, claiming that “they  have databases that contain samples from 350,000 and 125,000 people.”  Those are pretty good odds for a match.

Note: Companies are competing for your DNA dollars. They do NOT share databases, so you might want to be tested by more than one.

My concern with these DNA companies is of course, accuracy. I had the same concerns back when I used DNA to confirm my birthfather’s identity.  However, I believe that the process has come a long way, and for those who have tried every other search avenue,, this could at least fill in the blanks as far as your real nationality.

Tread carefully, and ask around before coughing up the cash. I have added links to the two companies mentioned in the article. I may even give this a try in my effort to find my adoptive brother’s family. Of course, if I do, I will report my findings here.

Happy hunting and blessings,

Vicki-lynn