adoptee rights

Adoptees Beware: Religious Agencies Changed Birth Dates & Data

/ V.L. Brunskill / 6 Comments

Last week, I was mulling over the relinquishment of the main character in my novel ‘Waving Backwards.’ The feelings and difficulties of being an adoptee in search are easy for me to explore, since I found my birth family after a 12 year search. However, the  birth mother’s experience is somewhat of a mystery  to me.

As I considered the relinquishment scenes for my book, I was blessed to turn on the TV to find Dan Rather reporting about forced adoption in the 60’s & 70’s. His report titled “Adopted or Abducted” opened my eyes to the questionable practices employed by many adoption agencies during the adoption boom.

During the 60’s & 70’s, waves of families moved to suburban neighborhoods, becoming what we now know as the middle class. At that time, social standing and reputations were extremely important.

According to Rather’s report on AXS TV, the increased focus on social standing, coincided with a change of attitudes among young people about sex, dating, and experimentation. Therefore, the rate of unwed pregnancies rose.

Families eager to protect their daughter’s reputations (and their own) often sent these unwed teens away to have their babies. Maternity homes were popular, and many were run by Catholic organizations.

Rather’s report focuses on the experiences of birth mothers sent to live in maternity homes, and how they were forced to give away their babies. Birth mothers were often tricked or forced into signing relinquishment papers. Some were even told that their babies had died.

The part of the report that is most important to those of you in search is the revelation that agencies (like Catholic Charities) often changed the identifying information in adoption records. They did this, so that the birth mother would never be able to locate her child. They also changed the nationalities of children, to better match the nationalities of their adoptive families.  Thereby creating a perfect fit by falsehood.

If  you are searching for your birth family, this could be a crucial fact. If the agency that placed you changed your birth date, your internet searches could be omitting crucial information.  When you search online or register for reunion registries, I suggest using the year and state of your birth, in addition to the city and date of birth that appears on your amended birth certificate. Someone could be looking for you with information that is different than the info you have.

Troy Dunn, AKA The Locator, who was interviewed for the report, has heard from thousands of birth mothers who were forced to give up babies. He has also found birth date changes to be  commonplace. (Sickening, I know.) Dunn cited Catholic Charities as one of the biggest culprits. Therefore, if you were placed by Catholic Charities, I would question every bit of information provided in a letter of non-identifying information.

I highly recommend that birth mothers and adoptees view the show. Birth mothers may find some solace in knowing that they are not the only ones who had their babies stolen, and adoptees may find a new perspective on the horrible process, and what it means to their searches.

Blessings,
Vickilynn

Dear Gov. McDonnell of Virginia, Thanks for the Life Sentence aka ‘Adoption Conscience Clause’

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

Here I am, a five-year-old foster care kid, hoping for a forever family. My birth parents, who signed away all rights to me, are out of the picture. They do not send money, gifts, or even best wishes for my birthday.

zax14/flickr.com

For two years, I have waited for a forever family to adopt me.  I have met a couple of families, but so far noone has chosen me. Everyone says that it is  hard for us older foster kids to find a family. I hear that once I get to eight-years-old, my chances of being adopted will be even worse.

I have no real family, no place to lay down my roots, or feel safe, Yet, I am expected to thrive in a world that values family above all things. There have been a couple of nice couples in to see me. One was a couple of ladies, the other was a Jewish family who seemed so loving. I sure wish they could have taken me to my forever home.

They are not allowed though, because I happen to live in Virginia (or maybe its is North Dakota). In these states, the Catholic agency that holds my destiny in their hands, has decided that it’s better for me to remain in foster care, rather than be placed with anyone who is not Catholic.

My drug addicted, abusive birth parents were Catholic, and since they were such upstanding members of  society, I have to be placed with other Catholics. That’s what they wanted. Sure, they left me here and are living proof that claiming a religion does not make you a decent caregiver, but laws in my state say that my Catholic agency can choose to leave me in foster care, rather than allow me to be raised by non-Catholics. It is called an ‘agencies’ freedom of conscience’.

So here I sit, wishing for a forever family, while loving, caring, financially secure, and responsible couples wish for me.  To the politicians, the new laws are a victory. For me, it’s a life sentence.

Thanks for nothing Gov. Bob McDonnell!

Illinois Law Changes Adoptee’s Lives: Original Birth Certificates Await

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

In 2010, Illinois passed a law allowing adoptees to access their original birth certificates. According to a Chicago Tribune article this week, the subsequent influx of requests is causing a backlog at the Department of Public Heath, and a bevy of beautiful reunions.

The Tribune also reports that 5,485 adoptees have applied for copies of their original birth certificates under the law, and “according to the Illinois Department of Public Health, there are about 250,000 adoptees eligible to apply for their birth certificates.”

Below  is a video of Governor Quinn announcing the signing of Public Act 96-0895.

I am sharing this “old” news to make more adoptees aware of the law, and because the recent Chicago Tribune article  reveals a few of the amazing reunions made possible by the law.  During the 7 years I searched for my birthmother, reunion stories were a source of inspiration, and reminded me that there was a real live family at the end of the rocky road.

The Illinois Department of Public Health has a FAQ page for those who would like to request a non-certified copy of their original birth certificates.  This page also includes links to the required forms.

St. Patricks Day and a Taiwanese Adoptee’s Search

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

For 27 years, until July 1, 1991, I was Irish.

mmarchin/Flickr.com

I was treated each year to an Irish celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. My Sicilian/German adoptive family wore green plastic hats, feasted on corned beef & cabbage, and made a merry spectacle of the day.

When I found my birthmother, I asked her about my lineage. “Your family is from Newfoundland, by way of Wales and England.” I was no longer Irish. All of the years that I had claimed St. Patrick’s Day as a celebration of my biological roots, were fun but false.

We believed that I was Irish, because it was written in my adoption papers.  We were wrong. Since thousands of non-Irish folks celebrate St. Pat’s, this discovery changed  my personal identity, but was not as life-altering as the truckload of facts revealed by reunion.Imagine though, the shock of being an international adoptee, and finding that your nationality is a complete fabrication.

Marijane Chaling Nguyen, an American adopted from Asia, lived her life thinking that she was Vietnamese and Japanese.  Later, after her adoptive mother’s death, she discovered that she was Taiwanese. Marijane chronicles her search in a blog titled “Beyond Two Worlds: Musings of an Asian-American Adoptee”.

Marijane’s story is retold in an article titled, ‘A Taiwanese American Adoptee’s Journey and Search for Identity‘ at AsianWeek.com.  This woman’s heartfelt journey  is a beautiful look at the importance of identity,  cultural  awareness, and an adoptees right to the truth.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day y’all!

Search Tip: Find an Adoption Reunion Search Angel

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

Searching for your birthfamily is time-consuming and costly. However, there are volunteers out there that will assist you with the process. They are called Search Angels.  Usually, adoptees or birthparents themselves, these volunteers offer guidance that can shorten your search by years.

sun dazed/Flickr.com

This search tip offers links to find a Search Angel, and advice on how to proceed once you do.

1. Get organized. Have all of the information you’ve gathered about your adoption ready. I often get email requests that are vague. To help,   I need the adoptees gender, plus date and place of birth. Once I have this, I can recommend specific search actions.

2. Find an angel.  Often the best place to find a reliable, useful angel is in reunion forums.  Search for local adoption reunion forums for your state as well. Also see the links listed at the end of this post.

A few national forums include:

3. Ask the search angel for references, or search  forums like those at adoption.com. Sign up for a free account to post an inquiry.  There is a current post on the support forum about a scam angel named Alex Shan.  Search your angels name in these forums, and Google their name to see if there are complaints.

4. Never share your address, or social security number with a search angel.

5. Ask about expenses. Angels are supposed to be free, but some ask to be reimbursed for travel.

6. Do not expect that a search angel will spend all of their time working on your search. Most offer advice, and tips for moving forward. Some will plug away at your search for years. Remember that a search angel is not a professional, they are volunteering to help you.

The sites below will help you find a search angel.  Of course, you should Google by state as well, (example- ‘Florida Adoption Search Angels’) since many volunteers work only in the state where they reside, or where they have search experience.

If you know of other Search Angel directories, let me know and I will add them.

RI Adoptees over 25 Years Allowed Original Birth Certificates

/ V.L. Brunskill / 13 Comments

Adoptees searching in Rhode Island take note. It was announced yesterday in the Providence Journal that any adoptee over the age of 25 can now request a non-certified copy of their original birth certificate.

TheGirlsNY/Flickr.com

According to the article, the certificates will not be released until July. However, the health department is announcing the opportunity now, so that adoptees can send in forms early.  There will likely we a deluge of applications, and the sooner you mail in your request the better.

Information on the new law, which takes effect on July 1, 2012, can be found on the State of Rhode Island, Department of Health site.  The forms for requesting your original birth certificate are available here as a Word document . The cost of the request is $20.00.  From the site instructions, it sounds like you can choose between in-person pickup and mailing of the document.  Only the adoptee themselves may receive the document. No other persons will be granted access to the certificate.

Of course, a birth certificate does not guarantee that you will find your birthfamily. However, you will have the correct names to get started.  Also, if your birthparent has filed a contact preference form, you will be sent that along with your birth certificate. This could include a contact address.

Kudos to RI legislators, as this is a giant step in the right direction! We can only hope that many more states follow suit.

UPDATE: One of our readers was kind enough to give additional information. He wrote, “Another valuable piece of information for RI adoptees to note is the RIARG group, RI Adoptee Resource Group, which provides support and resources for local adoptees in a variety of ways. This groups can be found at the following link: https://sites.google.com/site/riadopteeresourcecenter/home.” Please see the reply below by rhodeislandadopteeresourcegroup.

Life in Limbo: Encouragement for those in Search

/ V.L. Brunskill / 2 Comments

WilsonB/Flickr.com

“In all of us there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage, to know who we are —and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning, there is the most disquieting — loneliness.”- Alex Haley – Roots

I share this quote today to encourage adoptees in search, and to remind everyone of the normalcy of the need to know.  You are the product of past generations, and deserve to know everything that went into the making of you.

As I work on my book, I often reflect on the past with disappointment. My formative  writing years and the idea of a writing career, started after I was reunited with my birth family. Before that reunion, my focus was clouded by a sense of incompleteness.  I was a stranger to everyone, even myself,  a blank slate,  looking, clinging and begging for a genetic map to guide me.

There is a sense of mourning that comes with wondering who I might have been by now, how many books I might have published, if only I was whole enough to begin writing novels earlier in life.

Many adoptees feel as if their lives are stalled,  in limbo, until they search. The search, even when unsuccessful is a vehicle to freedom. Finding is a miraculous rebirth, where two become one. Suddenly, the infant with one set of parents, is an identifiable part of the adoptee whose surroundings are a foreign landscape to which they have adapted.

Of course, much of the content in my book ‘Waving Backwards’ could not exist without the experience of searching seven years for my birthmother and another five for my birthfather.  The need to know was overwhelming and all encompassing, and those feelings deserved to be explored and shared.  So the very thing that held me back from finding my life’s passion, is also the thing that enables my first novel to exist.

Many adoptees are labeled angry or insensitive for demanding open records. If only we thought of their searches as essential to ignite the meaningful endeavors of their lives, perhaps we would not judge as harshly.

Russia to Suspend Adoptions to US: System Needs Monitoring

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

The adoption system in America is a wonderful idea, especially when it successfully places orphaned/needy children (no matter their origin) with caring, loving, forever parents. However, the system requires monitoring, and an adequate screening process for adoptive families.  Wanting a child, and having a big enough bankroll ( $8,000-$40,000) should not guarantee you a child.

Archer 10/flickr.com

Many believe that prospective adoptive parents are carefully screened, and subsequently monitored to assure the health and well-being of the adoptee. Not so,  as evidenced in the recent announcement by Russia to temporarily suspend adoptions to the USA. Note that the ban specifically targets America!

It’s wonderful that someone is finally taking note of the lackadaisical placement of children in American homes through adoption, and the astounding  rate of adoptee abuse.   Bravo, Russia for taking notice of what Americans ignore!

The article “Russia Considers Suspending Adoptions to US” at ABCnews.com reports that Russia wants an “accord to better measure the welfare of adopted Russian children in America.” This comes after a Tennessee woman put her Russian born adopted 7-year-old on a plane back to Russia, due to his violent behavior, and last November’s  death of Nathanial Craver,  a 7-year old Russian  adoptee killed by his adoptive parents.

Russia is asking for regular visits to the homes of adopted children in the United States, and psychological testing of adoptive parents.  Shouldn’t this be the standard for adoptions of ALL children, from ALL nations?

You can read more on these cases here:

The New York Times: Russia Attacks Sentence of Adoptee’s Parents

LI Families: A 2006 case of adoptee Russian adoptee killed in US

About.com:  Review of several cases of Russian adoptees killed by US parents

Washington House Passes Open Records Bill with One Big ‘IF”

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment
underclassrising.net/Flickr

underclassrising.net/Flickr

The good news in this Oregon Live article, is that a bill that would allow adult adoptees to obtain their original birth certificates, was passed by the Washington State House, and is off to the Senate for approval.

The bad news, is that the bill contains a clause that would deny adoptees their birth certificates, ‘IF’ the birth parent has filed an affidavit stating that they do not want to be contacted.

Why should a birthparent be allowed to ‘opt out’, thus denying an adoptee pertinent birth records?  This is the age old questions for adult adoptees, why are the birthparent’s rights more important than the innate right to know your identity, and lineage?

I don’t recall signing away that right, what about you?

 

 

Sealed Birth Certificates: Violation of Civil Rights?

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

One year ago, Adam Pertman, author of the  book, “Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming Our Families – and America,” wrote a ‘Huffington Post‘ article comparing the withholding of adoptee’s original birth certificates, to women’s suffrage, and the fight for African American equal rights.

Click to purchase at Amazon.com

Pertman wrote, “it’s about providing legal and moral equality for a segment of our population that is not generally perceived as deprived of any rights: the approximately 7 million Americans who were adopted into their families. And the right denied to most of them is so basic that it almost sounds like a joke: access to their own original birth certificates.”

I agree, wholeheartedly. As an adoptee who found both birthparents, and openly shared this with both adoptive parents, I am still denied my original birth certificate.  Who are they protecting?  In New York, where my adoption took place, records for all traditional adoptions are sealed. This is the case in most American states.

Adoptees should have the same right to information as everyone in America. We did not sign any papers, approving the withholding of information, and should not be held accountable for the actions of adoptive and birth parents, especially once we reach adulthood.  While so many, fight hard for American Civil Rights, our minority is expected to accept the indignity of a stolen identity with a shrug and a smile.

Pertman, a non-adoptee, concluded in the Huffington Post article,  “We should care, and we should feel outraged, for the same reason so many men supported suffrage for women and so many white Americans joined the civil rights struggle — because we should find it offensive when any minority group in society is deprived of equal rights.”

Bravo, Mr. Pertman, Bravo! You can learn more about the man and his Pulitzer-nominated work at the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute site. Pertman is Executive Director.