Orlando

Unbearable Sadness- Pulse

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

Like most Americans, I am in a state of mourning this Monday after the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. Work deadlines, bills and responsibility call me. Yet, I cannot stop thinking about the horror that took place in the Orlando nightclub.

The fact that the club called Pulse was a LGBTQ bar makes the depth of grief  even more unbearable.  As the child of a transgender father who spent most of his life making my family suffer for his gender, I relish (in fact adore) any business or place that allows LGBTQ people to experience belonging and community.

When a club embraces people of different experiences, beliefs, genders, colors, and creeds, there is comfort. With comfort comes the ability to thrive. When people live fully immersed in the knowledge that it’s okay to be who they are, society blossoms into a colorful rainbow.

I believe that had my adoptive father known a place where he felt accepted for the gender he knew was true, he might not have beaten my childhood into a sad memory. Acceptance of self often begins with the embrace of others. When someone is encouraged to shine in their intended spirit state, they are able to add happiness to the world.

Being the child of a transgender person who could not accept his/her true identity, makes me sensitive to the rights of the LGBTQ community. When this group of humanity (in its infinite forms) can thrive, dream, and exist in peace- struggle dies. Struggle is pain. With pain relieved, a generation of suffering evaporates.

Pulse was supposed to be a safe place. On most nights, Pulse lifted up LGBTQ patrons to dance in delight of their individuality. This weekend, the devil entered the happy place, attempting to destroy that community. He failed. Bruised, this community will need time to mourn, for the losses are many. But they will return stronger, and hopefully knowing the world wishes them freedom of expression and love.

Just sad,

V.L.

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Halloween- Masked Revelations

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

Just back from the Spooky Empire Halloween convention in Orlando, and as I pack away the heavy rubber mask I wore at the Con, I reflect on the happy faces of the people who rushed to take a photo of my family’s group costume. Completely concealed by the mask, with the sounds of people’s voices muffled and only a tiny slice of sight, I had the rare opportunity of being completely incognito.spooky4

It was an oddly freeing experience, as I posed for one photo after another, still myself, but unknown for my true face. My new hair color (I went from blonde to brown) did not matter to the joyous faces who asked me to turn this way and that. People put their arms around me, hugged me, smiled, and stared openly. My anonymity made them comfortable.

I have to admit that people are not always at ease in my presence. I wear the intensity of survival in my eyes and tight jawline. I often look stern, even when I am feeling as vulnerable as a newborn. My tendency to wear a grumpy look when pondering my latest story line, is often assumed by others to be moodiness. I look serious.

In life, we all make assumptions based on people’s appearances. The mask I wore this Halloween freed me from onlooker’s judgement based on my looks. The mask also forced me to look at my own assumptions.

One of the media guests at the event was Burt Reynolds. He is nearing 79-years-old. His face looks pained, his posture bent. If I saw him on the street, it would not be his fame that I witnessed. I would not see the mega movie star, the actor who defined a generation of 1970’s movies. I would have seen an old man, looked past him, and missed out on the lessons of a superstar who had it all, lost it, and learned how to survive.DSCN5645

Whether we like it or not, it is human nature to react to physical appearance. Wearing a mask made me realize how much joy is lost to assumptions made based on looks.

A few thoughts from my time under the mask-

  • The less we assume, the more we will know.
  • Physical beauty captivates, but its fade is the true freedom.
  • Inside every frail, aging form is the bright soul they wore in youth.
  • Facial expression is an unreliable measure of humanity.

Blessings to be seen in your truest form,

V.L. Brunskill

———-
Follow me on Twitter- @RockMemoir
Like my Facebook page- http://www.facebook.com/vlbrunskill
Buy Waving Backwards for Kindle $4.99 at Amazon.com- amazon.com/author/vlbrunskill
Waving Backwards book trailer- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_ufjmq0l-U