Adoptees in the News

Australian Mothers Recall Nightmare of Forced Adoptions

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

As I searched for my birthmother, I always assumed that the choice to give me up was hers. I also believed that her motives, while off-kilter due to a lack of life experience, were basically good.  I was correct, and while my birthmother suffered every year on my birthday, she accepted the repercussions and responsibility that came with her decision.

Lars Plougmann/Flickr.com

Imagine though, the birthmother who is given no choice. Imagine a world where young, unmarried women are forced to give away their babies, denied pain medicine, and made to recover from giving birth in a cold veranda, while married mothers rest in a warm, safe maternity ward.

An article this month at ABC NorthCoast Australia, offers heartbreaking, first-person accounts of forced adoptions in Australia during the 1960’s.

It is unclear from the article, whether or not there is an ongoing investigation into Australian adoption practices, or if the piece is simply meant to reveal the evil practices of the past. Either way, the women’s recollection are heart-wrenching.

Note- I am looking for more upbeat adoption news. I promise. However, some stories deserve to be told again and again.

West’s NEED for Children Brings Pain to Nepal’s Families

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In Nepal, child trafficking is a national crisis. Children are being purchased from poor parents for as little as $15, and sold to children’s homes in Kathmandu. Parents are persuaded that their children will have a  better life in, and sell them in hopes of a bright future.

Drnantu/Flickr.com

According to an article at RT.com, there are, “around 15,000 children living in orphanages in Kathmandu.” At least 500 orphanages exist in the area, and only eleven  are regulated by the government. Conditions in the orphanages are treacherous, with care givers rationing food, and beating children.

So what makes these children so valuable a commodity, that they’re being rounded up by the thousands?

The need/demand for adoptable children in the West is causing this human tragedy. A family abroad in willing to pay $25,000 for one child. Therefore, children who already have parents are being purchased, and forced to live in slum orphanages.

To make matters worse, the Nepalese government currently “has a freeze on child adoption to Western countries due to rampant cases of abuse, fake documents and false statements.”  So the children are no longer with their biological parents, and have no hope of being adopted by the rich Western family their parents were promised.

Horrible, deplorable, despicable… all  of these words understate my outrage.  I am not faulting Western families for wanting children, but I wonder how this demand for babies is playing out in other countries.  Surely, Nepal is not the only country where crooks recognize the opportunity to make money from selling kids to the West.

Adoption must become a centralized process, with an international group overseeing it. Of course, we don’t even have a centralized system for adoption in America, (every state has its own rules &  baby brokers still exist) so standards, legislation, and protective processes for worldwide adoptions are as likely as Bigfoot knocking at my front door!

When a North American or European family dolls out $25,000 to adopt a child internationally, what is the human cost?

Book Notes: “ITHAKA” Reveals Importance of Adoption Search Process

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I often tell adoptees that searching is as crucial a part of the wholeness process, as finding, and that they should keep it as hands-on as possible. The many stages of revelation during my own search, allowed me to grow and change along with information, as it was revealed.  Instead of a sudden reunion, my mind was readied (as much as it could be) for the reality of a second family. I was in charge of the unveiling process.

Last night, I finished reading the book, ‘ITHAKA’ by Sarah Saffian. Subtitled, “A Daughter’s Memoir of Being Found”, the book offers a unique perspective into what happens when the search is not controlled by the adoptee, and is instead a search FOR the adoptee by the birthparent.

I know many of you are thinking that this scenario is a dream come true. Well, it can be, but as revealed in this poignant non-fiction work, it can also be a life-altering shock.

In the book,  Saffian recalls the phone call that changed her life forever. Sarah’s birthparents were re-united after her relinquishment, and married. They searched for Sarah, found her, and called her.

Saffian discusses how she undertook some mock search steps after the call, to better understand what it would have been like if she had been the one searching.  A successful New York woman, with a solid adoptive family, she clearly enjoyed control over her destiny, until her birthparents called.

Writing letters to her birthparents for years before being reunited, she undertook a process of adjustment, not unlike that of an adoptee in search.  She needed those letters and time to reprogram her reality.  Saffian does a wonderful job of exploring the plethora of emotions, and adjustments required to accept a dual identity. I applaud her honesty, and highly recommend this book for all adoptees  and birthparents.

Russia to Suspend Adoptions to US: System Needs Monitoring

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The adoption system in America is a wonderful idea, especially when it successfully places orphaned/needy children (no matter their origin) with caring, loving, forever parents. However, the system requires monitoring, and an adequate screening process for adoptive families.  Wanting a child, and having a big enough bankroll ( $8,000-$40,000) should not guarantee you a child.

Archer 10/flickr.com

Many believe that prospective adoptive parents are carefully screened, and subsequently monitored to assure the health and well-being of the adoptee. Not so,  as evidenced in the recent announcement by Russia to temporarily suspend adoptions to the USA. Note that the ban specifically targets America!

It’s wonderful that someone is finally taking note of the lackadaisical placement of children in American homes through adoption, and the astounding  rate of adoptee abuse.   Bravo, Russia for taking notice of what Americans ignore!

The article “Russia Considers Suspending Adoptions to US” at ABCnews.com reports that Russia wants an “accord to better measure the welfare of adopted Russian children in America.” This comes after a Tennessee woman put her Russian born adopted 7-year-old on a plane back to Russia, due to his violent behavior, and last November’s  death of Nathanial Craver,  a 7-year old Russian  adoptee killed by his adoptive parents.

Russia is asking for regular visits to the homes of adopted children in the United States, and psychological testing of adoptive parents.  Shouldn’t this be the standard for adoptions of ALL children, from ALL nations?

You can read more on these cases here:

The New York Times: Russia Attacks Sentence of Adoptee’s Parents

LI Families: A 2006 case of adoptee Russian adoptee killed in US

About.com:  Review of several cases of Russian adoptees killed by US parents

Sealed Birth Certificates: Violation of Civil Rights?

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One year ago, Adam Pertman, author of the  book, “Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming Our Families – and America,” wrote a ‘Huffington Post‘ article comparing the withholding of adoptee’s original birth certificates, to women’s suffrage, and the fight for African American equal rights.

Click to purchase at Amazon.com

Pertman wrote, “it’s about providing legal and moral equality for a segment of our population that is not generally perceived as deprived of any rights: the approximately 7 million Americans who were adopted into their families. And the right denied to most of them is so basic that it almost sounds like a joke: access to their own original birth certificates.”

I agree, wholeheartedly. As an adoptee who found both birthparents, and openly shared this with both adoptive parents, I am still denied my original birth certificate.  Who are they protecting?  In New York, where my adoption took place, records for all traditional adoptions are sealed. This is the case in most American states.

Adoptees should have the same right to information as everyone in America. We did not sign any papers, approving the withholding of information, and should not be held accountable for the actions of adoptive and birth parents, especially once we reach adulthood.  While so many, fight hard for American Civil Rights, our minority is expected to accept the indignity of a stolen identity with a shrug and a smile.

Pertman, a non-adoptee, concluded in the Huffington Post article,  “We should care, and we should feel outraged, for the same reason so many men supported suffrage for women and so many white Americans joined the civil rights struggle — because we should find it offensive when any minority group in society is deprived of equal rights.”

Bravo, Mr. Pertman, Bravo! You can learn more about the man and his Pulitzer-nominated work at the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute site. Pertman is Executive Director.

Agency Sued for Placing Child in Abusive Home

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The Anchorage Press recently reported on an adopted child, who is suing the Alaska Office of Child Services and the Anchorage Police Department, for the being placed in a home run by accused, abusive single mother- Anya James.

photograsaur/Flickr.com

Six children were removed from James’ home in October 2010, after kidnapping and assault charges were filed. The children were denied nourishment, and use of the bathroom, and the accuser (one of six children placed in the home) ran away several times, only to be returned.

The suit seeks more than$100,000.

As an adoptee, placed in an abusive home, this suit is certainly an eye-opener. I informed the police about the abuse in our home, yet no one ever questioned my placement. Background checks are needed, but frequent ‘forward’ checks are crucial to the safety of adopted and foster children.

Three years after my placement, my adopted brother was placed (by the same agency) with the same family. A simple check of ambulance and police records would have uncovered my adoptive mother’s medical treatment, and  the reports of domestic abuse. She never pressed charges for fear of retaliation, however abuse was clearly present.

I wonder what the statute of limitations is for suing those tasked with acting in the best interest of the child?

You can read the details of the case at The Anchorage Press.

Jenny Bowen: A Blessing to China’s Orphans

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

This morning, the Today Show featured a story on Jenny Bowen,  who gives the  forgotten babies of China, a happier and healthier existence. Her  ‘Half the Sky Foundation’ reaches across thousands of miles, to hire Chinese Nanny’s to interact with babies in orphanages. She now has approximately 1,800 employees working in 51 Chinese cities.

photo by Half The Sky Foundation

Jenny’s drive to change China’s handling of abandoned children, was ignited after she adopted  a baby girl named Maya in 1996. The beautiful three-year-old from China was devoid of emotion.  She did not smile. She did not laugh. She was a blank slate due to a lack of  human interaction at the orphanage where she (and thousands of others)  were raised.

You can read more about Jenny Bowen’s joyful  success in this Encore. org article.

While I resided in foster care for only eight months, I have often wondered about the care givers who took me in.  It is a blessing to know that people like Jenny Bowen are out there fighting for children who cannot fight for themselves.

Her work is miraculous and requires funding. To donate to this worthwhile cause- visit the Half the Sky Foundation website. To contact Jenny directly email- jenny@halfthesky.org.

Reaction to Virginia’s “Conscience Clause”

/ V.L. Brunskill / Leave a comment

In a recent post, I expressed my outrage over the recent adoption clause passed by the Virginia Senate.  A child welfare group also opposes the “conscience clause” and voiced its opinion in this Virginia-Pilot article.

Will Weaver/Flickr.com

The group is opposed to the clause, because it, “sanctions discrimination by groups that get public money to place children on behalf of the state.”

Now that the issue has been brought to the attention of the American Civil Liberties Union of Virginia, we can only hope that it gets a proper squashing!

‘Conscience (anti-gay) Clause’ for Adoption passes Virginia Senate

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

Ok, calling this ruling a ‘conscience clause’ is ridiculous.  This adoption clause is a thinly disguised rule to stop adoption by gay couples, and further stigmatize gay children.

Photo by lupzdu / flickr.com

Catholic Charities would rather leave a child in foster care for life, rather than place them in a loving home? Is that Christian?

The concience clause should require all agencies to do better background checks, and home studies. Too many children are placed into abusive homes.

Wake up legislators. I would rather have a loving gay family,  than an abusive one.