Adoptees in the News

Adopt-ist Entertainment: The Avengers Movie Slams Adoptees

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

What the cuss?

Universal Pictures-Problem Child

The recently released Marvel movie “The Avengers” is another example of entertainment media misrepresenting adoptees, the adoption process and even adoption searches.  This most recent adoptee slam comes in the form of a line spit out by the almighty Thor, claiming that his brother Loki is a violent whack job because “he’s adopted.” 

I am not a Comic-Con kind of gal, but I am sure that legions of fans will get a chuckle out of this reference.  It seems that more and more entertainment sources are off their non-adopted rockers when it comes to anything resembling adoption reality.

Case in point, in a recent episode of ABC’s General Hospital, a character named Samantha (Sam) strolls into the hospital where her husband (Jason) was born, asks for his birth records (he is adopted) and is handed everything she asks for without a court order, handshake or even his written permission. Oh, that it were so easy for any adoptee!

Another adoptee media slam from 2010, was in a commercial for  a company called ‘For Eyes’. In their commercial, a  Brad and Angelina lookalike couple  walk into a eyeglass shop, followed  by a bunch of multi-cultural children. They offer to adopt the clerk so she will have a  “better life.”  The DeClassified Adoptee blog has a great post on this.

Even ABC’s hit show, Modern Family, which addresses the sensitive topic of international and gay adoption, with surprisingly effective humor, has made mistakes.  In one episode the gay couple who was searching for a child to adopt, joked that a birth mom asked them to show her son, “all 52 states” and that they would “save him from a life time of trying to find East Dakota.” Not so funny to the birth mothers of the world.

Of course, there is also the 1990 movie Problem Child, which tells the story of an adopted seven-year-old, devil child whose is cruel to animals, sets fires, and pees in inappropriate places.   The list of Adopt-ist media formulas goes on and on.

I am not so thin-skinned that these things keep my awake at night. However, I believe that stereotypes, especially those that are hurtful, damaging or ignorant should die a quick media death. Adoptees portrayed as criminal misfits, birth moms portrayed as idiots, and general misinformation about our struggles to know where we come from, are unacceptable and really…not that funny!

‘Daughters of Deceit’ Book to Present Story of UK Adoption Reunion

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Keep your eye out for a new book, that will chronicle adoptee (and Women’s Open Golf champion) Jenny Lee Smith’s reunion with her birth family in the UK.

Jami Dwyer/Flickr.com

After finding out (late in life) that her parents were not her biological parents,  Jenny sought, and found her birth mother.  Her birth mother died not long after the reunion.

Smith also discovered that she had a half-sister, Helen Edwards.  Helen knew nothing of her sister’s existence. The book, which is being considered by several publishers, was  co-authored by the sisters, and shares the secrets, turmoil and triumphs of their journey to reunion.

You can read more about the book and their story in this Chronicle Live UK article, and more about Helen Edwards & Jenny Lee Smith at their homepage.

Looking forward to this one!

Dear Gov. McDonnell of Virginia, Thanks for the Life Sentence aka ‘Adoption Conscience Clause’

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Here I am, a five-year-old foster care kid, hoping for a forever family. My birth parents, who signed away all rights to me, are out of the picture. They do not send money, gifts, or even best wishes for my birthday.

zax14/flickr.com

For two years, I have waited for a forever family to adopt me.  I have met a couple of families, but so far noone has chosen me. Everyone says that it is  hard for us older foster kids to find a family. I hear that once I get to eight-years-old, my chances of being adopted will be even worse.

I have no real family, no place to lay down my roots, or feel safe, Yet, I am expected to thrive in a world that values family above all things. There have been a couple of nice couples in to see me. One was a couple of ladies, the other was a Jewish family who seemed so loving. I sure wish they could have taken me to my forever home.

They are not allowed though, because I happen to live in Virginia (or maybe its is North Dakota). In these states, the Catholic agency that holds my destiny in their hands, has decided that it’s better for me to remain in foster care, rather than be placed with anyone who is not Catholic.

My drug addicted, abusive birth parents were Catholic, and since they were such upstanding members of  society, I have to be placed with other Catholics. That’s what they wanted. Sure, they left me here and are living proof that claiming a religion does not make you a decent caregiver, but laws in my state say that my Catholic agency can choose to leave me in foster care, rather than allow me to be raised by non-Catholics. It is called an ‘agencies’ freedom of conscience’.

So here I sit, wishing for a forever family, while loving, caring, financially secure, and responsible couples wish for me.  To the politicians, the new laws are a victory. For me, it’s a life sentence.

Thanks for nothing Gov. Bob McDonnell!

Kansas Man Finds Birth Mother After Reading about New Adoption Records Law

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A recent article from The Witchita Eagle, reports on 57-year-old Bob Fowler’s reunion with his birth mother in Kansas, after he read an article about the  availability of non-certified, pre-adoption birth certificates for adoptees in Kansas.

According to the Kansas Historical Society, “Adoption records are open to adoptees 18 years and older. The adoptee has to request the records from the Clerk of the District Court’s office in the county where the adoption occurred. An adoptee can obtain their birth certificate. Proof of identity is required. Descendants of the adoptee cannot view the records. For information about obtaining pre-adoption birth certificates please see the Office of Vital Statistics web page.”

Fowler’s story of reunion is unique because he was never really interested in finding his birth mother. He had a caring adoptive family, and a generally happy life. According to the article, his wife suggested he look for his birth mother saying,

“You might have a hole in your heart you don’t even know about.”

For his birth mother, Cheryl Allenbrand, the timing could not have been better. It turned out that Allenbrand, who  gave Fowler up for adoption when she was only 15-years-old, had buried all three of the biological children whom she raised.  Thoughts of the child she gave up haunted her.
This is a happy adoption reunion story worth reading.  It is also a reminder, that even adoptees who think they do not need to know their biological family, often find comfort and wholeness in  reunion.
The full story is here: Mother, child reunion took 57 years.

Illinois Adoptee Access to OBCs Stands, Additional Access Stalls

/ V.L. Brunskill / 2 Comments

Recently,the St. Louis Post-Dispatch published an article titled, Illinois adoption records legislation fails amid abortion debate. The article discussed the failure of open records adoption legislation in Illinois. Since I recently  blogged on the success of the ‘ OBC (Original Birth Certificate) adoptee access law’ that passed in 2010 , the article was confusing, and as it turns out, a tad misleading.

Sara Feigenholtz

To assure that adoptees understand the status of records access in Illinois, I contacted the office of Illinois State Rep. Sara Feigenholtz.  Feigenholtz, an adoptee herself, sponsored the adoption legislation in question.

A representative from her office  contacted me and explained that the St. Louis Post-Dispatch article refers to an entirely separate piece of proposed legislation.  The legislation, which is currently “postponed for consideration” refers to access to the adoption decree.  An adoption decree is a document, filed at the time of the adoption. This  is a sealed court document. However, adoptive parents or the ‘attorney of record’ can access this document at anytime, without any special cause or reason.

The new bill, proposes that adult adoptees be allowed access to the adoption decree if they:

  • Have their Original Birth Certificate, with no redacted info (adoptees not subject to denial of information)

OR

  • Have a letter from the state saying that their original birth certificate could not be found.

Illinois adoption decree

While the new bill might be controversial, because of personal and potentially damaging information that could be included on the decree (i.e. a birthmother’s unfit status, criminal record,  drug use), this is NOT the reason the bill failed, after the last round of discussion.

Instead, debate on this bill was about abortion.  Lobbyists claimed (and some state reps agreed) that if a birthmother thinks the adoptee will have access to the adoption decree, they are more likely to choose abortion.

Hello? First of all, adult adoptees already have access to their original birth certificates in Illinois. Secondly, adoptive parents are already granted access to the document. So, if an adult adoptee asks their adoptive parents to help out, they can already get this document. Plus, the bill would not allow adoptee’s access to the decree, if the birthmother has asked for a “denial of information’ or to “opt out” of contact.  So this legislation makes absolutely zero change to a birthmother’s  right to confidentiality.

Abortion rates have nothing to do with the proposed legislation. Birdbrain lobbyists should actually think before they squawk!

You can  follow the progress of this bill at the Illinois General Assembly site or you can visit Illinois State Rep. Sara Feigenholtz‘s site to learn more.

Why Adoptees Search: Videos of Hope & Reunion

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When the road is hard, and there seems no chance of reunion, why do adoptees persevere?

Today, I remind you that your journey to wholeness is possible, relevant, and necessary.  These touching videos are about adoptees who have succeeded.

Get out the tissues, as these stories are what your dreams are made of.

Adoption Reunion after 53 years:
six siblings found

Adoptee Reunites with her Mom

Tammy’s Book:
A mother & daughter reunion

Illinois Law Changes Adoptee’s Lives: Original Birth Certificates Await

/ V.L. Brunskill / 1 Comment

In 2010, Illinois passed a law allowing adoptees to access their original birth certificates. According to a Chicago Tribune article this week, the subsequent influx of requests is causing a backlog at the Department of Public Heath, and a bevy of beautiful reunions.

The Tribune also reports that 5,485 adoptees have applied for copies of their original birth certificates under the law, and “according to the Illinois Department of Public Health, there are about 250,000 adoptees eligible to apply for their birth certificates.”

Below  is a video of Governor Quinn announcing the signing of Public Act 96-0895.

I am sharing this “old” news to make more adoptees aware of the law, and because the recent Chicago Tribune article  reveals a few of the amazing reunions made possible by the law.  During the 7 years I searched for my birthmother, reunion stories were a source of inspiration, and reminded me that there was a real live family at the end of the rocky road.

The Illinois Department of Public Health has a FAQ page for those who would like to request a non-certified copy of their original birth certificates.  This page also includes links to the required forms.

St. Patricks Day and a Taiwanese Adoptee’s Search

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For 27 years, until July 1, 1991, I was Irish.

mmarchin/Flickr.com

I was treated each year to an Irish celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. My Sicilian/German adoptive family wore green plastic hats, feasted on corned beef & cabbage, and made a merry spectacle of the day.

When I found my birthmother, I asked her about my lineage. “Your family is from Newfoundland, by way of Wales and England.” I was no longer Irish. All of the years that I had claimed St. Patrick’s Day as a celebration of my biological roots, were fun but false.

We believed that I was Irish, because it was written in my adoption papers.  We were wrong. Since thousands of non-Irish folks celebrate St. Pat’s, this discovery changed  my personal identity, but was not as life-altering as the truckload of facts revealed by reunion.Imagine though, the shock of being an international adoptee, and finding that your nationality is a complete fabrication.

Marijane Chaling Nguyen, an American adopted from Asia, lived her life thinking that she was Vietnamese and Japanese.  Later, after her adoptive mother’s death, she discovered that she was Taiwanese. Marijane chronicles her search in a blog titled “Beyond Two Worlds: Musings of an Asian-American Adoptee”.

Marijane’s story is retold in an article titled, ‘A Taiwanese American Adoptee’s Journey and Search for Identity‘ at AsianWeek.com.  This woman’s heartfelt journey  is a beautiful look at the importance of identity,  cultural  awareness, and an adoptees right to the truth.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day y’all!

Hopeful News for Oklahoma Adoptees in Search

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Oklahoma adoptees are one step closer to open records! On March 12, 2012,  Bill B 2634 passed the Oklahoma House with a final affirmative vote of  93-0.

opensourceway/Flickr.com

According to an article at newsok.com,  if passed into law, the bill will “allow adult adoptees the right to obtain original birth certificates and let birth parents fill out a contact preference form that would tell adoptees if they’d like contact, no contact or contact through an intermediary.”

Once passed, this legislation would also give birth parents the rights, to deny contact, and  fill out “a medical and social form to fill out to give to adoptees when they obtain their original birth certificate.”

While I do not agree with the opt-out option for birth parents (since we  have no ‘opt out’ option with regard to being adopted), I do see this as a giant step in the right direction. Bravo to the The Daily Bastardette Blog, for rallying everyone to get the bill passed in the House!

To keep tabs on the progress of this bill, visit this page at the  Oklahoma State Legislature site.

March 13,1968 in New York City: A Baby Boy is Born

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Today is my adoptive brother’s birthday. He is a very special, caring man, who works hard, and adores his daughter.  He has a generous sense of humor, friends who love him, and a heart of gold.

lokate366/Flickr.com

He has been a blessing in my life, and I know, if only we could locate his birthfamily, he would be a blessing in theirs as well. I will not share his new name.

At birth, we believe he was named Peter Mathewson.
He was born in New York City on 3/13/68.

His birthmother was an art student, and of French lineage. His birthfather was Italian and possibly American Indian.  Someone in his birthmother’s family attended an Ivy league college. Her family was from New England.

That is what we know.  I have searched for his birthfamily on and off for years.
If you know anything about the birth of this beautiful little boy, who grew (despite a truckload of turmoil) into a brave, strong man, please email me: vbrunskill at gmail.com

We are not sure about the spelling of his last name, and of course the details revealed in his non-identifying information may be slightly off.

We only know that despite my search attempts, I have not been able to find them. He would like a photo, medical info, and a glimpse into the information that is his birth right.

Happy Birthday Baby Brother!