Happy Reunion Friday!
Every Friday from this day forward, adoptionfind will share an adoption reunion story.
Blessings for a weekend of hope and encouragement.
Vicki-lynn
adoption search
Adoption Search Alert: Beware Email Phishing Scam
“Commit a crime, and the earth is made of glass.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
As some readers know, I am searching for my adoptive brother’s family. He was born March 13, 1968 in Manhattan. I have not been able to track them down yet. I have his information posted in many places on the Web. If anyone is ever looking, they will be able to find him.
As a result of these posts, I have received some scam emails, but this one peaked my interest. I pursued it, in order to expose the types of scams those in the adoption search process may experience.
Chris P Dunn/flickr.com
EMAIL #1
Good-day,
I am Jerry Garston and i saw your ads on the internet as regards to whom you are seeking and i would like to inform you that i have relevant information on the person whom you are seeking for information about if you are interested kindly get back to me via my email below:
Regards
Jerry Garston
Email: jerrygarstone@gmail.com
The first clue that this is a scam, is the misspelled name. Notice that it is different in the body of the note, from the actual email address. I replied asking Mr. Garston, which ad he was referring to, and asked that he get back in touch with me, as I am very interested in facilitating a reunion. I did not mention who I was looking for. I did not include any additional details. I always reply to these emails, in case there is a real connection. Since I have no way of knowing the educational level, or country of origin for my brother’s birthfamily, I reply with as little information as possible.
EMAIL #2
Good-day Vicki-lynn,
First of all my name is Jerry Garstone ,one of the sole legal counsels
to late ( Nora Mathewson ) who bears the same name with the
person you are also seeking for . My client died in the year 2012, in
the UK, I was contacted by the Financial Institution where my client
held a monetary resource to contact the family members on my client”s
abandoned investment with them. Throughout my search, I was not able
to ascertain a genuine relative who shall be recipient of client”s
abandoned investment, hence contacting you.
Kindly send me an email so that i could give you more information’s.
Yours truly,
Jerry Garrstone , (PhD)
I replied to this with a simple- thanks, what’s next?
EMAIL #3
Good-day Vicki-lynn,
I am writing you this message in connection
with one of our client (Nora Mathewson ) who has the same Name
with the person you are seeking for. she passed away in 2012 .
she lived most of her years in England, but traveled often.
I am contacting you because after the death of our client, we were
informed by the finance company to search for any member of her
extended family “related, to put up a claim, or who could be so
represented as managers or trustees to her deposited funds with them
which stands at over £13,000,000.00 (Thirteen Million Pounds) as an
initial deposit. Due to the fact that she died with her immediate
family members, there was no will available to dispatch her estate.
After preliminary efforts of search which came to no avail, we were
given an ultimatum some weeks ago, to look for someone to come for the
claims or have the funds liquidated and made un-serviceable in
accordance with the existing laws, because it will be assumed that no
member of her extended family is alive.
However, it might interest you to know that after a thorough
investigation in the finance company, I found out that some members of
the company are currently planning to divert this funds in their
selfish interest and only want to use the excuse that since we are not
able to look for someone to make the claim, the money should be made
un -serviceable and that means reverting the funds to the Government
while the company retains a percentage of it.
After unraveling their plans and professional consideration on my
part, I decided to search for someone credible with similar last name
or someone who is closely related to her in any way to apply for this claim,
and finding that you would be related to my client since you are seeking for
information s about her, so i was urged to contact you.
Looking forward to hear from you soon.
Regards,
jerry Garstone
The email address address showed this as being from Jerry Garfield, so the name changed again. I have now marked his email address as spam, and I am reporting them to the FBI. However, I am sure the criminal will change the email address and get in touch again. Today, I was notified by a NY adoptees group, that one of their members was also targeted.
Please be careful when posting on the internet, and when replying to anyone claiming that they have information on your search. It is sad, that we have to be so wary, but the next step in this scam would have been to ask for financial information, and we all know where that would have led.
Blessings for a scam free search!
Vicki-lynn
Holiday Wonder: Not so Wonderful for Adoptees in Search
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to each of you. This can be the hardest time of year for adoptees and birth parents in search. The holidays bring families together and thus the missing member looms ever larger and heavier on wondering hearts.
Amstramgram/Flickr.com
My Christmas experience this year was blessed with knowing where all of my family members are, what they look like, and how they fit into the wonderful, whacky identity that is me. However, I recall with fervent clarity, the pain and aching wonder of not knowing who I was for 27 years.
Being born on Christmas Eve, meant that every Christmas brought forth images of what it must have been like for my birth mother to be in labor before the holiday, knowing that I would not be going home with her. I now know that it ruined Christmas for her from that day forward. My half-brother and sister, always wondered why she was so sad at Christmas, and only when I found her in 1992 did they finally understand.
If you are Christian, this season is all about the miracle birth of Jesus, and so your own miraculous entry into the world comes to mind. For more than two decades, I wondered if anyone smiled when I was born. I wondered if my birth mother thought of me on my birthday. I wondered if the nurses at the hospital put me in a stocking because I was a Christmas baby (as I’d seen depicted on TV).
My holiday gift to you, is to simply tell you that – I get it. I acknowledge the hidden pain of not knowing. You are perfectly normal to wonder about the missing puzzle piece. Whether signed away or stolen, you have a right to feel empty, and cheated, especially during this family focused season. I am sorry for your loss, and hope with all my heart that 2013 will be a year of glorious reunion for you.
Miracles do happen, and so I will end with a story of holiday hope and adoption reunion from Ireland.
Family’s dream Christmas reunion becomes a reality | Irish Examiner.
Blessings for a peaceful heart and the calm that knowing brings,
Vicki-lynn
New York Times on Dark Side of Adoption Info on Internet
In a recent article, “Internet Use in Adoptions Cuts 2 Ways” New York Times reporter Ron Nixon discusses a report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a nonprofit organization working to change adoption policy in America. 
The report (released today) is the culmination of a three-year research project by the Institute on how the Internet and social media have altered the adoption landscape.
Despite the group’s active support of open-records for all adult adoptees, the report presents much more than happy reunion stories. It also delves into the devilish character of on-line adoption agencies, and the fraud that is often perpetuated by them. The report also discusses why access to online information is not always positive for underage adoptees, especially in cases where an abused child is found by a birth parent.
I look forward to reading the full report which is available here: http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2012_12_UntanglingtheWeb.pdf
Blessing for reunion,
Vicki-lynn
Don’t Miss the Movie- “Adopted: for the Life of Me”
Today, I am sharing a link to the heartbreaking trailer for the movie “Adopted: For the Life of Me”. The movie aired on PBS, and while there are no future airings currently listed on the PBS site, you can purchase the DVD here.
When you visit filmmaker Jean Strauss’ site, be sure to read about her upcoming movie project (she needs moola to complete it), and about her significant work as an advocate for adoptee rights.
Jean Strauss
If Jean’s name sounds familiar, it is probably because she wrote a great search & reunion book titled, “Birthright: the Guide to Search and Reunion”.
The film previewed in this trailer, explores the lifelong affects of never knowing your real name, heritage, or medical information. It presents the stories of real people, who late in life, are still living in the darkness of sealed records.
http://www.adoptedforthelifeofme.com/
Blessings to know your name at last,
Vicki-lynn
Australia Apologizes for Forced Adoptions: America Next?
There has been quite a bit of adoption buzz this week on forced adoption practices in Australia during the 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s. The news culminated with yesterday’s public apology by New South Wales Premier Barry O’Farrell.
ABC News Australia reports that O’Farrell’s apology was this:
“We are sorry you’ve had to wait for so long for this apology. We know that you live with the consequences of those practices every day.
We are sorry for the forced adoption practices that severed the fundamental life-giving bonds between mother and child.
We apologise to the mothers who were not asked or listened to and who were never given a choice about the future of their children. We apologise for making you feel ashamed and unfit to care for your babies.
We say sorry for treating you cruelly and insensitively when what you needed and deserved most was care and support.
To the women who have carried the pain of loss, grief and separation throughout your lives, we say sorry.”
Well said, but woefully late and inadequate, the apology has served a greater purpose, in revealing the dirty reality of many adoptions. The news coverage surrounding the apology is an excellent opportunity to educate the general public on the horrors faced by unwed pregnant mothers in the mid-20th century. Not just in Australia, but in America as well.
I recently blogged on the Dan Rather report “Adopted & Abducted” which revealed forced adoption practices in America. Yes, women in our country were also strapped to beds, so they would not attempt escape with their babies. Women in our country were also drugged so that they would never know the gender of their babies. Women in the USA also had their hands held while they were forced to sign adoption papers.
Children were stolen in America, just as they were in Australia.
When will America apologize? Since our adoption practices/laws are governed by state agencies, and most of the forced adoptions of the 50’s-80’s were handled by religious agencies, don’t hold your breath!
Rather than an apology, my wish for all members of the adoption triad, whether forced or voluntarily separated, is for every state to open records for adult adoptees in search. Adoptees did not sign a relinquishment form, and it should be the civil right of every American adoptee to know their ethnicity, medical history, and roots.
So forget the apology America, we want justice.
Blessings for a speedy reunion,
Vicki-lynn
Hawaii Adoption Reunion Resources
In response to a reader’s question, I have compiled a list of Hawaiian adoption reunion resources.
The good news for adoptees who were born in Hawaii, is that you can request your adoption records. According to HawaiianRoots.com, ” new adoption notification law allows adults to learn of their birth parent unless the parents have indicated to the court that they do not wish to be contacted. ”
HawaiianRoots.com suggests the following contacts for requesting information. I recommend that you give them a call to confirm, as this information could change.
| Oahu by mail: | Adoption RecordsFamily Court, First Circuit CourtP.O. Box 3498Honolulu, HI 96811-3498 |
| Oahu in person: | 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Mon-FriCourt Management Services BranchKaahumanu Hale, Second Floor777 Punchbowl StreetHonolulu, HI |
| Maui, Molokai, and Lanai: | Adoption RecordsFamily Court, Second Circuit2145 Main Street, Suite 226Wailuku, Maui 96793 |
| Big Island: | Adoption RecordsFamily Court, Third Circuit345 Kekuanaoa Street, Room 40Hilo, Hawaii 96720 |
| Kauai: | Adoption RecordsFamily Court, Fifth Circuit3059 Umi StreetLihue, Kauai 96766 |
They also offer a clue for adult adoptees looking for natural parents: “Birth certificates are altered to reflect the names of the adopted parents but newspaper vital record listings will show the names of birth parents.” This means that searching the local newspaper archives could help you find your birth name.
Below is the applicable adoption records law:
Mutual Access to Identifying Information
Citation: Rev. Stat. § 578-15
An adoptee who is age 18 or older may submit a written request to the family court for inspection of adoption records. Such records will be released unless the birth parents have filed a confidentiality affidavit. Such affidavits may be renewed every 10 years. The adoptee may submit an affidavit person consenting to the inspection of records by the birth parents
The form to request your information is offered in PDF format at the link below. It also gives addresses for mailing.
http://www.state.hi.us/jud/Oahu/Family/1F-P-767request.pdf
TIP: For those searching in any state, use the link below to search for adoption records and reunion laws by state.
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/index.cfm?event=stateStatutes.showSearchForm
In addition to formally requesting your records, Hawaiian adoptees should search and register for the reunion registries and forums below.
- G’s Adoption Registry Hawaii- searchable by date
http://www.gsadoptionregistry.com/hawaii/19701979hawaii.html
- Adoptee Connect Hawaii Registry
http://www.adopteeconnect.com/p/a/1012/ - Quickbase Adoption Registry- Hawaii
https://www.quickbase.com/db/7c2gsmqv?a=q&qid=104
- Adoption.com- Hawaii adoption records forum
http://forums.adoption.com/hawaii-adoption-records/
I cannot possibly find every resource out there, so if you know of other Hawaii resources, please comment on this post, or email me at vbrunskill@gmail.com.
Ke Akua(God) Ho’omaika’i(Bless) Oe(You)!
Vicki-lynn
Adoption Detective | Book
Always happy to share a book that could be helpful in your search.
Happy hunting and blessings,
Vickilynn
“Adoption Detective is a story that is hard to forget—readers will want to keep a hanky close at hand. The plot is emotionally draining, engrossing throughout, and agonizing at times with great expectations followed by periods of both ecstasy and gut wrenching rejection. Nothing is fait accompli when it comes to affairs of the heart and on this account the book delivers.” —Jim and Penny Hassell, avid readers
“The reader will hang on to every phase of the adoption search—this is a life story that deserves this book.” —Terrie Drake, librarian, Colorado Mountain College
This book is riveting—I literally could not put it down. Your story is solid and exceptional. I can’t say enough good things about this book.” —Sheila Mincer, speech-language pathologist, Mountain Board of Cooperative Educational Services.
“The writing style of the authors is precisely written in an authentic voice that is uniquely fresh and bold…
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Adoptee Rights Demonstration Today in Chicago
If you are in the Chicago area, this is the place to meet like minded adoptees interested in open records for all!
The Adoptee Rights Coalition has organized a demonstration to take place today during the National Conference of State Legislators in Chicago. Specifically, they will be trying to open the legislators’ eyes to the plight of adult adoptees in forty-four states who are not allowed to have a copy of their own original birth certificates.
What is an “original birth certificate?”
Many people who are not intimately affected by adoption do not realize that adopted people have two different birth certificates. Whenever a child is born, a birth certificate is issued to legally record that birth. We all know that, right? At minimum, the birth certificate lists the baby’s name and the name of the child’s mother.
If that baby is later adopted, a new birth certificate is issued which lists the child’s adoptive name, and his adoptive parents’ names as mother and father. The original birth certificate–the one that lists…
View original post 956 more words
Adoptees Use DNA Testing to Find Relatives
When I was searching for my birthfather, there were two possible culprits. My birthmother was a virgin when she arrived in the USA, and as naive as they come. She met a nice man through a cousin, and he asked her to take a stroll on a NY beach. During this walk, he raped her.
After her heart and trust was stolen, she decided that no man would ever take advantage of her again. She had been attracted to an Army man, who wooed her endlessly, and after the horrible beach incident, she decided to pursue a relationship.
ynse/Flickr.com
So when she found out she was pregnant, she was not sure who my father was. This left me with the difficult task of figuring it out. I found the date rapist first. He was actually a nice old guy, and swore that while he had dated my birthmother, there was no rape. He had heard she was pregnant, and wondered if he might be a father.
When I found him, we had DNA testing done, and the negative result was heartbreaking, as he was truly tickled to have a newfound daughter. We used the Fairfax Identity Lab. I then went on to find my real birthfather, and he never wanted DNA testing. I knew he was the one, and therefore it was not necessary.
While DNA played a factor in my search, it was not the clue that opened the door to my identity. To find my birthmother and both father suspects, took 13 years of pretty hard searching. Today, I am amazed at the level of identity and at the specific surnames that can be found through the process.
A New York Times article from January of this year, tells how adoptee Khrys Vaughan found her distant cousins using a DNA testing company, that not only provided her genetic countries of origin, but also gave her the names and email addresses of distant cousins.
The article suggests that testing can cost anywhere from $99 to more than $500. Most of the companies I found are in the $300 range. While I do not know anything about the reliability of these companies, the Times article mentions two testing companies; Family Tree DNA and 23andMe, claiming that “they have databases that contain samples from 350,000 and 125,000 people.” Those are pretty good odds for a match.
Note: Companies are competing for your DNA dollars. They do NOT share databases, so you might want to be tested by more than one.
My concern with these DNA companies is of course, accuracy. I had the same concerns back when I used DNA to confirm my birthfather’s identity. However, I believe that the process has come a long way, and for those who have tried every other search avenue,, this could at least fill in the blanks as far as your real nationality.
Tread carefully, and ask around before coughing up the cash. I have added links to the two companies mentioned in the article. I may even give this a try in my effort to find my adoptive brother’s family. Of course, if I do, I will report my findings here.
Happy hunting and blessings,
Vicki-lynn
V.L. Brunskill 